Mostly-Well-Meaning Government Security Agent: I’d like a warrant to search this person.

Judge: What probable cause?

MWMGSA: They intend to travel on an airplane.

Judge: Why is that probable cause?

MWMGSA: One time, someone used an airplane to commit a terrible crime.

Judge: Sounds ominous.  Search ‘em.

MWMGSA: Of course.

Judge: Of course, didn’t someone use a ground vehicle for a terrible crime once?

MWMGSA: Indeed.  Maybe you could extend the warrant so I can search anyone intending to travel by plane or automobile.

Judge: Have you never heard of a train hijacking, or a boat full of explosives?

MWMGSA: Then give me license to search anyone who intends any form of motorized travel whatsoever.  That should ensure safety.

Judge: Do only motors aid in crime?  What about bicycles?  Strollers?  Walking sticks?  Shoes?

MWMGSA: How nearsighted of me!  If you permit it, I’ll thoroughly and seriously search anyone intending travel of any kind, whether by plane, train, automobile, bicycle, tricycle, roller skate, pogo stick or any other device, as well as walking, running, or rolling down hill.  To think I almost overlooked these potentially dangerous modes of criminal activity!

Judge: Travel is potentially dangerous.  But haven’t some of the worst crimes been hatched while seated, reclined, or resting in one’s own home or office?

MWMGSA: Brilliant!  You have a real mind for public service.  We will take safety to a new level by searching anyone who is seated, standing, sleeping, resting, reclining, or otherwise not traveling to or from any destination.  What better way to catch potential criminals and terrorists than when they are stationary.

Judge: So then, the criteria for this search warrant is that the suspect must be a person, not necessarily suspected of anything yet, but who intends either to travel with or absent any motorized device, or not to travel in any possible way in which a person cannot travel.  All of these activities or non-activities have, at one point or another, been used to assist in or conduct heinous crimes, any of which we could never allow to occur again if we are to fulfill our duty as public servants.

MWMGSA: Precisely.  So this warrant permits me to search anyone who meets the above criteria, which we can summarize by saying anyone who is living may be searched.

Judge: That raises another question…have dead bodies been used in crimes?

MWMGSA: How could I overlook that obvious danger!  Yes.  So we shall include all living and non living people, or any physical body alive or dead.

Judge: Of course, entirely decomposed corpses sometimes assist in crime.  The memory of a long dead individual may spur someone to engage in dangerous deeds, can it not?  Has no criminal inspiration come from religious or other thought leaders who have no bodies, dead or living, to be searched?

MWMGSA: If you broaden the scope of the warrant, I shall search all persons with living or dead bodies, or no bodies at all but who once had bodies.

Judge: What of those who never had bodies?  Mythical creatures, spirits, gods?  They, too, can inspire criminal activity?

MWMGSA: Right.  All persons or entities with person-like qualities that do or do not have bodies, or that did or did not ever exist.  In short, anything that a human can be or think of is potentially dangerous and should not presume to have the right to be free from search.

Judge: Warrant granted.  How else to keep us safe from such terrible things as those which have happened in the past?  How else to prevent abuses, pains, and dangers that might befall citizens?

MWMGSA: Zero tolerance is the only safe policy.  Now please put your hands behind your head and turn around.